My statuses - the obscure ones at any rate - are usually the line of the song I'm listeniing right at that moment. When there's no music, it'll be the first thing someone says on TV or that I overhear (my bedroom window opens up to the main road of Athlone; always entertaining).
I'm properly a Boy Adult now; that curious space a Muslim Indian male exists in, when they're a fully functioning, earning & contributing adult, but not yet married. Its harder for girls though, since societal reverence for males eventually pushes even the most immature of the lot to the status of "man", but an accomplished but single 30-something female is still "the girl", as in "the girl is too educated for her own good", or "the girl makes nice roti's but".
I've also slowly started to realise, that even when it's your own wedding being planned (mine isn't / hasn't been, yet) - enormous parts of it fall out of your control and discretion into the invisible realm of family protocols and arguments of "but what will people say".
'Discretion' is a weird word, when you think of the word 'Excretion'.
There's too little support for young Muslim Professionals who want to save or exercise some of the tools of being fiscally responsible in South Africa while having Islamic Finance Peace of Mind (or in cape town anyway). Life insurance and chequing accounts are stupidly easily available, but apart from Oasis, there's not a lot of options.
Interest complicates my life.
There should be a strong Oasis/other campaign aimed at young muslims that shows them how to properly invest in the Long Term - rather than just kitting out annd modding their v-tec's.
I must consider my goals of work, life and marriage. What are ideal marriage goals (of what I want to be/contribute, & what I expect to have/be given) that pushes both of you to grow?
2 comments:
Haha. Sometimes I also post whatever lyrics are running through my mind. For the past few days I had to resist the urge to update to "And when the cops came through, me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house, with can full of gas and hand full of matches, and still weren't found out".
I don't like being an adult to be honest - not that I'd ever go back to being a child. I've come to find that the world - no matter how much we've "progressed" - is a very difficult and unforgiving place for females. And to survive you have to be the uber-bitch. But then when you're all uber-bitchy, everyone has a problem with that too... so theres never a win-win.
Tell me where to plant, I want to grow too.
I must say that for someone who has such troubles, I do have an awful lot of fun =D
I'm not sure if your concluding question was rhetorical, but from my own perspective, you can define growth in 3 sections - all of them interlinked.
1. Material: Progressing in the working world; earning; owning stuff (essentials - like a home and car; and non-essentials) without being in debt; etc.
(As for investing - speak to a financial advisor at Oasis / Al-Baraka / another halaal investment company...I'm sure they'll be very eager to advise you on long term investment ;)
2. Personal: This encompasses character, emotional maturity, intellectual growth, and all those other things that generally appear as "personality"/
3. Spiritual: As a Muslim, you obviously know the tremendous value Islam places on spiritual growth; and how critical marriage is to that (i.e. "completes half your deen").
In my own experience, there's only a certain level you can reach on your own spiritually; but once you find and enter a union with another - who is striving to grow spiritually too - then it enables both of you to progress much further, because it's a platform that is so blessed by our Creator.
It's a platform that ASSITS all of those other aspects (i.e. material and personal growth), but the most important of all growth is the spiritual...and if you have someone who can help you grow in that (and vice versa) - then it's like you have the best thing in the world (there's a hadith along those lines, i think).
In reality, Allah controls everything - so it's a simple equation to figure out: take care of your deen, and everything else will fall into place*.
*That doesn't mean things will go exactly how you planned or wanted; but it means that if your deen is right, you will - insha-Allah - have the insight to recognise that Allah is guiding your life in the way that's best for you - both in this world and the next.
So, for me, if growth is what you're after - prioritise the spiritual. And that comes through a combination of knowledge (always seeking it and implementing it) and sincere dedication to spiritual advancement.
And the control centre of everything is the heart. So that's where things need to be set right at the very base of it all.
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